Mr and Mrs Vinegar
Mr and Mrs Vinegar lived in a vinegar
bottle. The bottle was made of glass but it had a wooden door. One day Mrs
Vinegar was sweeping her house when the broom went right through the roof, and
broken glass fell everywhere. 1 She was very upset but Mr
Vinegar tried to comfort her.
"Let's go out into the world and seek
our fortune, said Mr Vinegar. "I'll take the door and carry it with me on my
back. It may be useful."
They walked all that day and at night
entered a thick forest. They were both very, very tired. Mrs Vinegar did not
want to sleep on the ground because she was afraid of wild animals.

Then Mr Vinegar said, "My love, I'll
climb a tree and drag up the door. You follow me."
So Mr Vinegar climbed a tree and set
the door between the branches, like a platform. They both lay down on the door
and fell asleep.
In the middle of the night they were
wakened by the loud voices of some men on the ground below. The men were
robbers, and they had met to divide their money. Mr and Mrs Vinegar were very
frightened and they trembled so much that the door fell to the ground. This
gave the robbers a fright and they all ran away.
Poor Mr and Mrs Vinegar sat in the
tree and held on to the branches until morning came. Then they climbed down.
They lifted up the door and found forty golden guineas 2
under it. They were very happy, and Mrs Vinegar jumped for joy. Then they
began to think what best to do with the money.
"Now, my dear," said Mrs Vinegar,
"I'll tell you what to do. Take these forty guineas, go to the neighbouring
town and buy a cow at the market. I can make butter and cheese, which you will
sell, and then we shall make a fine living." Mr Vinegar agreed, took the money
and set out for the town. When Mr Vinegar reached the market, he liked the
very first cow he saw, which was a red one.
"I should be the happiest man in the
world if I owned that cow," 3 said Mr Vinegar. He offered all
his forty guineas for the cow and the owner sold his cow gladly, because forty
guineas was far more than she was worth. 4
But Mr Vinegar soon got tired of
driving the cow along. He came to a man who was playing the bagpipes. People I
were listening and children were dancing as he played. Money fell into his cap
when he held it out.
"I should be the happiest man in the
world if I owned those bagpipes," said Mr Vinegar, so he offered his beautiful
red cow in exchange for 5 the bagpipes.
The owner of the bagpipes agreed to
take the cow and gave Mr Vinegar the bagpipes.
So Mr Vinegar went off with the
bagpipes. But money did not fall into his cap when he held it out. He had no
idea how to play the bagpipes and when he blew he only made the most terrible
sounds. That frightened everybody away, and the children even threw stones at
him.
As Mr Vinegar walked along with the
bagpipes under his arm, he felt very unhappy, and his hands got very cold.
Then he passed a man with a fine, thick pair of gloves on his hands.
"I should be the happiest man in the
world if I owned those gloves," said Mr Vinegar, so he offered his bagpipes in
exchange for the gloves. The owner of the gloves agreed and took the bagpipes.
So Mr Vinegar put the gloves on his
cold hands and went on his way. He had walked a long way now and was very
tired. So when he met a man who was walking quickly with a good, strong stick
in his hand, he said, "I should be the happiest man in the world if I had that
stick." Then Mr Vinegar offered his warm gloves in exchange for the stick. The
owner of the stick agreed and took the gloves. So Mr Vinegar went on his way
with the stick in his hand.
When at last Mr Vinegar reached the
forest where he had left his wife, a bird flew out of a tree and began to call
out:
"Ha ha! Ha ha! Mr Vinegar, you are a
foolish man! You spent your forty guineas on a cow that wasn't worth ten. Then
you changed the cow for bagpipes you couldn't play. Then you changed the
bagpipes for a cheap pair of gloves. Then you changed the gloves for a poor
stick. And now you have nothing to show but that poor stick, which you could
have cut 6 in the forest. You are a silly man!"
Mr Vinegar got so angry when he heard
the bird, especially as all the bird said was quite true, that he threw his
stick up at it. But the stick stuck in the tree 7 and he
couldn't get it down. So he went back to Mrs Vinegar with nothing at all, no
money, no cow, no bagpipes, no gloves and no stick, and she beat him for it.
1 the broom went right
through the roof and broken glass fell everywhere - метла ударила по крыше, и
посыпалось разбитое стекло
2 forty golden guineas
— сорок золотых гиней (гинея — прежде золотая монета, теперь денежная единица,
равная 21 шиллингу)
3
I should be the happiest man in the
world if I owned that cow — Я был бы самым
счастливым человеком на свете, если бы у меня была эта корова
4
far more than she was worth
— гораздо больше, чем она того стоила
5 in exchange for - в
обмен на
6 could have cut — мог
бы срезать
7 But the stick stuck
in the tree - Но палка застряла в ветвях дерева