Will It Surprise You?
or My View of a Well-Bred Person
One of the main principles of modern life is maintenance of
normal relations between people and aspiration to avoid conflicts. In their
turn, respect and attention can be deserved only by observance of politeness
and restraint. Therefore nothing is as appreciated by people surrounding us as
politeness and delicacy. But in life we quite often face with roughness,
sharpness, disrespect for the person from another person.
The behavior culture of a person is external expression of
his spiritual riches, skills to communicate with people. Quite often education
of the person is judged only by his manners.
What qualities are inherent in the cultural,
well-mannered person? They are erudition, professionalism, high spirituality,
To help in trouble, to help disinterestedly in
a difficult minute, to offer something important to another man, not even very
close, and at times even a stranger, not to spare his time and effort for him
- all this is the norm of behaviour for well-bred, noble people.
When communicating with people, it is necessary
to take into account their mental warehouse, the private world and to try to
find a correct line of conduct for everyone. Dialogue with the mistrustful
person demands care, patience. With whimsical people quiet tone and ignoring
their whims are necessary. The irony precipitates the self-satisfied, but it
is unreasonable to use it when you deal with a timid person. It is impossible
to expect an instant reaction from a phlegmatic person, and you can hardly
hope a choleric person to remain imperturbable in a critical situation.
A well-bred person is always polite, delicate,
and benevolent towards people surrounding him. The tactfulness is inherent in
him. He correctly reacts to the behaviour of the other person, understands his
condition, is ready to support in a difficult minute, and avoids conversations
which may be unpleasant to somebody, does not show any superiority, and does
not show his well-being in the presence of people who have been less lucky.
The tactful person shows neither excessive sympathy, nor the obvious hostility
to certain people because it may put in an inconvenient situation not only
them, but also their associates. Exhibiting intimate feelings for a general
review, excessive curiosity, reading another man's letters quite often borders
on tactlessness. It is inadmissible to deride physical defects of people, to
overhear other people's conversations, to write anonymous letters.
The major quality of well-bred people is
modesty. A modest person is self-critical and demanding towards himself, does
not overestimate his own opportunities and abilities. He does not aspire to be
allocated externally: he will not put on extravagant clothes, will not talk
loudly in the bus, will not start bragging of his merits. But excessive
modesty and shyness are not always good. A timid person tends to underestimate
his own forces, has difficulty adapting in a collective, is afraid to
undertake responsible business. ‘He who speaks only about himself, thinks only
about himself’, states D. Karnegi. ‘And the man who thinks only of himself is
hopelessly ill-bred. He is ill-bred, no matter how well educated he is’.
The most attractive of merits is sincerity.
But only in combination with other qualities - with restraint and delicacy. It
is bad if, for example, anybody, without giving it another thought, simply
tells a woman who is not so young, that she looks like an old hag.
Accuracy is one of displays of politeness,
respect for the man. It is necessary to protect both yours and another man's
time. Sometimes a wasted hour will not be made up for in a year.
One of the main elements of politeness is the skill to
Never say, "I shall prove to you that and that", it sounds
as if you have said, "I am cleverer than you, I am going to tell you something
that will force you to change your opinion".
Ease, naturalness, feeling of measure, politeness,
tactfulness, and the main thing benevolence towards people are qualities which
will easily help you in any vital situations, even when you are not familiar
with any of the fine etiquette rules of which there is a great variety in the
Kharkiv Market Economy and Management