Psychologists more and more often refer to L. Friend’s work on psycho
analysis. It is much spoken about sociological surveys among young people.
This unit starts considering sociological analysis of the major social
behaviour as dating. First, it focuses on its importance as a cultural
universal. And finally the increasing influence of dating within contemporary
human life on the other hand.
in the '90s
Black's Blind Date TV programme topped the ratings again last year—
people are interested in dating as a social pastime. On the rise among
London's party set are blind date parties at which hosts invite an equal
number of each sex for drinks, then pair them off for a date. Each couple goes
for a meal, then everyone meets up later at a club to compare notes.
Admittedly this sounds a bit extreme, not to mention too public. But going out
with a half-decent man can be a great way to spend an evening. So what if you
know he's not your forever type? The point is to get out and enjoy yourself.
Caroline, 26, says, 'A few years ago, I'd have cringed at the word "date". You
just sort of drifted into a relationship. Now you actually arrange a date and
it can be the beginning of something, perhaps a relationship, perhaps a
no mistake about it; dating now is very different compared to the coy
arrangements our mothers and elder sisters knew. Until our generation, male
deaths caused by wars meant women outnumbered men. Now the statistical tables
have turned and there are 254,000 more men than women in their twenties in the
UK. Men are realising now that they have to make the running to get noticed.
23-year-old Judy, 'Men try harder now. They realise they have to open up a bit
more to interest a woman. And they've realised a woman's idea of a good night
out isn't always going to the pub with him and the lads. Women appreciate the
romance of a date, but it doesn't make them soppy little girls. Men respect
our intelligence now.'
dating isn't about being so desperate for male attention you'll go out with
someone you don't like at all. But it is about daring to explore the
possibilities of the Mr Not-Quite-Rights of this world. For a start, isn't
there something admirable, even gutsy, about the man who has the courage to
ask you out? So even if your heart doesn't flop like a landed fish every time
he walks into the room, live a little and take a chance.
there's one thing you like about his character—he's funny, bright, warm, or
you've noticed his hands, hair, eyes—then why not go? These are the faint
beginnings of attraction, and should never, never be ignored. How many times
have you heard people in relationships say, 'I didn't fancy him/her much at
first, but we just got on really well!' Lisa, 23, agrees. 'Dating is so
exciting! It gives me a real buzz. You have something to look forward to, you
can plan what to wear, what you'll do. It's not always about romance either.
Sometimes you might just like a man and want to get to know him better. Then
if, after a few dates, you decide you feel more deeply about him, you can
reveal that on a date, too—and that's deliriously exciting.'
I. Read and translate
the text using a dictionary if necessary.
II. Find in the text
the English equivalents to the following:
Свидание вслепую, времяпровождение,
хозяйка, приглашать равное число гостей противоположного пола, выйти,
насладиться, отношения, хмуриться при слове, дружба, поколение, вызванное,
делать усилия, быть замеченными, ценить, уважать, исследовать возможности,
мужество, характер, меня это заводит, выяснить.
III. Supply the
missing words or word combination according to the text.
1) People are
interested in dating as…
2) So, what if
you know he’s not…
3) A few years
4) Dating now is
very different compared to…
5) Men are
realizing now that they have to…
appreciate the… but it doesn’t make them…
7) So even if
your heart doesn’t… every time he walks into the room.
8) These are the
faint beginnings of attraction and should never…
9) I didn’t…
him/her much at first, but we just got on really well.
10) Dating is so
exciting! It gives me…
11) Sometimes you
might just like a man and want to…
12) Then if, after a
few dates, you decide you feel more deeply about him, you can…, too.
IV. Study the
following words and word combinations and use them in your questions to the
A social pastime, a
blind date, a half-decent man, to get out, not your forever type, to enjoy
yourself, to arrange a date, a friendship, to cause, to realize, a lad, the
romance of a date, intelligence, for male, attention, gutsy, courage, a
chance, to fancy, to reveal.
I. Reread the text and
answer the following questions:
1) What TV
programme topped the rating again last year?
2) Whom does a
host invite for drinks at the party?
3) What is the
point if you go out with a half-decent man?
4) Compared to
what is dating now very different?
5) How did the
statistic tables turn?
6) What are men
realizing now if they want to be noticed?
7) Do men
respect women’s intelligent now?
8) You have
something to look forward, haven’t you?
9) Why does Lisa
agree dating is exciting?
10) Do you think
dates are useful, helpful? Why?
11) What can you
reveal on a date?
12) Are you for or
against blind dates?
II. Define the
following key terms and memorize the definitions:
A date, a blind date,
friendship, character, appreciate, fancy
III. Speak on dating,
its aspects, functions in brief and illustrate your report with examples and
situations of your own if possible.
IV. Comment on the
table of the text “Dating in the 90’s”
V. Speak about your
classmates viewing them from the sociological perspective.
VI. Have you got a
programme similar to Cilla Black’s Blind Date in our country? If so, can you
VII. Over to you.
questions with a partner:
1. What attracts
you at first sight?
2. What is
important for you in a long-term relationship?
3. Where would
you go on the first date?
4. Is it OK for
a girl to ask a boy out?
5. To woo or not
to woo – that is the question.
VIII. Speak bout how
to woo: by dancing, singing, or sending your loved one a poem? From the
beginning of time people have declared their love, often in the form of poems.
Here are some lines that people have written over the centuries which one do
you like best?
To me you are
the gate of paradise
For you I will
F. Chopien (1810 –
If I could write the
And in fresh numbers
of your eyes
number all your
The ages to come would
say, “This poet lies;
So such heavenly
touch’d earth by
(1564 – 1616)
I wrote a poem to ask
you to dance.
I know it’s bad, but
give me a chance.
If you are in the
mood, try to write your own love poem.
the sentences below; then match the idioms with their meanings.
When the family was reunited, Mom said, "Love conquers all".
She can't see his bad habits because love is blind.
My family thinks Peter is too old for me, but I think love is where you find
When Claude was touring Europe, he'd love'em and leave'em.
When we docked at Rome, we met three lovelies and went dancing.
"How's your love life?" "Great! I've met a wonderful lady".
Let's drive up to Lovers' Leap and look at the stars.
love conquers all
love is blind
love is where you find it
love them and leave them
7. lovers' leap
a. the romantic part of your life, your intimate life
b. a cliff from where lovers jump into a canyon together
c. love them but not stay with them
d. love is strong enough to overcome all problems
e. people do not see the faults in their lovers
f. ladies, women, girls
g. love happens, love is not planned
1.d; 2.e; 3.g; 4.c;
5.f; 6.a; 7.b.
II. Do you know what
these words mean?
Match them with the
heart of stone
heart of gold
person (famous) who attracts strong feelings of love
deep unhappiness because of lost love
pitiless, unfeeling nature
very good and kind nature
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1. The picture:
is being advertised?
Describe one of the couples.
kind of people do you think would use this service?
2. More general:
you consider using a company like Dateline? Why? Why not?
similar companies operate in your country?
are the advantages and disadvantages of using such a system?
other ways are there of meeting people of the opposite sex with a view to
friendship and even marriage?
WRITING DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPHS
paragraphs are often used to describe some event, picture or what a person
looks and acts like. Read this descriptive paragraph, notice how descriptive
paragraphs are arranged by putting together all the sentences about the same
14 is Valentine's Day, a day when sweethearts show their love for each other.
Men give gifts such as candy or flowers, and Fred Tompkins surprises his
sweetheart with a heart-shaped box of candy. June, his sweetheart, was
expecting flowers, but instead Fred gives her a three-pound box of chocolates.
She is pleased because he remembered!
they are going out to dinner and then to the theater afterwards. They are
going to celebrate together a special day for sweethearts because they love
each other. And Fred says: "'I've got the best and prettiest girl in the world
- my wife!"
Answer these questions about Valentine's Day celebration in your country on a
piece of paper.
What is Valentine's Day?
When does Valentine's Day take place?
Who invented Valentine's Day?
Does your country have Valentine's Day or a similar celebration?
Who usually gives gifts?
What are some customary gifts in your country that people give to their
What kind of gifts do you like to give? to receive?
Now that you have the information about Valentine's Day ready, write a
descriptive paragraph about it.
to write a love letter
to write a love letter to your incredible object of de-sire, but stuck on
whereto start? Well, here are some amazing tips that can make your letter mean
more than just any letter.
should you start a letter, off? A simple "Hey Lora" would be nice. You don't
want to go overboard and say, "Dear love-of-my-life Sarah", especially if
you've never even talked to the person before. However, if you've been going
out with this person for nearly a year, then you don't want to just say "Hey
Suzannah", that may give her a "I could care less about you feeling".
case, a "Dear Sweef-cheeks",or a cheesy nick-name along those lines is fine.
beef (meat) of the letter! The best thing to do in a letter is sound
vulnerable. If you are planning on asking them out in the letter, let the
person know that you are open to rejection! Make them think that if they
reject you it isn't the end of the world! Besides, you don't want to sound too
desperate! There's a limit to how vulnerable you should be! Don't say anything
like:- "I love you, I want you"; "now let's have sex?"-Or "I can't go on in
this world without you!" That just screams desperate! Try something simple
like, "I really like you and I want to get to know you". Not bad for starters,
what exactly should you say in your love letters? Express your feelings for
him/her, but don't go too deeply into the details. For instance, avoid, "do
you know that I stare at my brother while he takes a shower and secretly
envision your face on his?" I don't know about you, but I'd be moving further
from this person rather than closer!
humor. Once the person knows you can laugh and that you are a fun-loving
person, it'll be hard for them not to want you!
you do, do not put yourself down. I want nothing like "you probably won't want
to go out with me anyway" "cause I got big ears and a small mouth". Who likes
people with major insecurities? Besides, confidence is sexy, remember that!
However, too much confidence can be a major turn of. Good example: "I know
you're dying to go out with me. So just put yourself out of your misery and
ask me out!" Ha! Yeah right...
finally, how to end a love letter. If you barely or don't know the person,
avoid signing it with anything using the word love in it. Never
sign it with "love forever and ever", "your boyfriend to be". That'll just
scare them off right then and there, if the rest of the letter didn't already!
(Kidding!) But honestly, try signing it off simply with your name. Now was
that so hard? But, if the person that you're writing this love letter to
happens to be one that you've been dating for a while, then whatever you sign
it off with is up to you.
above all, there is no RIGHT or
WRONG way to write a love letter. Just remember to be yourself. If you get
rejected the first time, don't be discouraged! At least you have the
satisfaction of knowing that you tried your best to get them and if they
rejected you for your "amazing self then that's their loss, right? Right!
Remember, it's not you, it's them!
A Perfect Match?
daring are you?
you a weedy wimp or a daring dater?
quick quiz to get you into the mood for this unit. Answer the questions and
find out how daring you are!
You're all alone on Saturday night. What do you do?
down to the nearest disco and chat up the first person you see.
on the box. There's an old film you've seen half a dozen times before.
on the phone and work through your address book.
are offered the chance to go to New York for six months. What do you do?
the pros and cons and ask your mother for advice.
your ticket and a toothbrush and phone for a taxi.
yourself another cup of tea and settle down with a book.
of the following would you consider doing?
Asking a total stranger out on a date.
Placing an ad in the lonely hearts column of the local newspaper
Having a meal on your own in a restaurant.
What's your idea of real adventure?
Abseiling, para-sailing and bungee-jumping.
Trying some exotic foreign dish you've never heard of.
out without an umbrella when it looks like rain.
see an attractive guy or girl standing alone at a party. What do you do?
at him/her all night without making a move and then spend days regretting it.
Wander over, introduce yourself and then have a friendly chat.
across the room, say it's love at first sight and smack a kiss full on his/her
would you rather do next summer?
every day on the beach eyeing up the talent.
Collect beetles in the Brazilian rainforest.
part-time at the supermarket to save up for your bottom drawer.
boyfriend/girlfriend packs you in without any reason. How do you get your
all his/her friends that he/she still sleeps with a teddy bear.
do anything. You knew it was coining.
all your friends to phone him/her while he's/she's out and leave embarrassing
messages on his/her answering machine.
So, how did you score?
b.2 c.4; 2. a.4 b.8 c.2; 3. a.8 b.6 c.2; 4. a.8 b.6 c.2; 5. a.2 b.6 c.8; 6.
a.4 b.8 c.2; 7. a.8 b.2 c.6
What a weed. You wouldn't know what adventure was if it stared you in the
face. If you carry on like this, you'll be a granny before you're twenty-five.
Get out and do something about it before rigor mortis sets in.
You seem fairly well-balanced and might even live to a ripe old age. You've
got lots of self-confidence and can stand up for yourself when you need to.
You're probably great company. Go for it!
Wow! You've got some pretty hot blood racing through your veins. How come you
found the time to do this quiz? You're probably real fun to be with, but calm
down a little or you'll risk terminal burn-out before you've done half the
things you want to.
Useful words and phrases
(informal) thin and weak-looking—a bit pathetic
(informal) a weak person without a mind of his/her own
(infernal) to go the box: (informal) slang for TV
lonely hearts column:
section of the newspaper that contains personal advertisements
climbing down a mountain held by ropes.
being pulled by a boat (as in waterskiing), but also lifted by a parachute
jumping off a bridge attached to an elastic cord
slang for girl
make a move:
to do something
kind of insect
collection of things you are saving for when you get married (sheets, towels,
automatic telephone answerer
an unwanted plant, or a boring person
stiffening of muscles upon death
after-one's own heart -
well-liked for agreeing with one's own feelings, interests and ideas
of, in reality
one's heart -
very sad or hopeless
change of heart -
in the way one feels about, something
one's heart and hope to die -
what one has said is surely true (often used by children)
one's heart out -
long and hopelessly for something, want something
the bottom of one's heart -
great feeling, sincerely
the heart -
to the heart of (a/the matter) -
understand the most important tiling about something
(someone's) heart goes out to (someone) -
feels very sorry for, one feels sympathy for
is in the right place -
kindhearted, sympathetic or well-meaning
of gold -
generous or forgiving nature
of stone -
skips a beat -
startled or excited from surprise, joy or fright
stands still -
frightened or worried
freely and seriously about something private
feeling of being weighed down with sorrow, unhappiness
discouraged because of failure, lose hope of success
one's heart -
about one's feelings honestly, confide in someone
search one's heart/soul -
one's reasons and acts, try to discover if one has been fair and honest
one's heart set on -
encouraged, feel braver and want to try
one's heart on one's sleeve -
one's feelings openly
all one's heart -
great feeling, sincerely
Choose an idiom to replace the expression in the brackets below:
1. He is a man (who has the same feelings and hobbies as me).
wearing his heart on his sleeve
my own heart
2. Last weekend I had (a serious) talk with my wife about our
b) an at
a heavy heart
heart of gold
3. He is beginning to (feel discouraged) because he can't find a job.
search his heart
his heart on his sleeve
4. My sister (wants very much) a new walkman for her birthday.
is breaking her, heart for
her heart set on
crossed her heart and hoped to die for
5. (He became very frightened) when he went to see the horror movie.
heart stood still
heart was in the right place
heart was of stone
heart was of gold
6. My sister had a (feeling of unhappiness) when her boyfriend left
change of heart
7. My friend always (talks openly about his feelings) to me.
breaks his heart
searches his heart
crosses his heart and hopes to die
8. The politician seemed very cold but his recent speech was (very
sincere and honest).
my own heart
9. I (was encouraged by) the fact that so many people volunteered to
help with the charity auction
my heart by
searched my heart from
10. He is a person with a (hard, cold personality).
in the right place
change of heart
2.a; 3.c; 4.b; 5.a; 6.d; 7.b; 8.c; 9.a; 10.d.