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WHO ARE YOU?
ARE YOU A LION OR A MOUSE?
1. You're about to go to bed when you hear screams in the street. What do you do?
a. call the police (3)
b. go to bed (1)
c. arm yourself with a hammer and go outside to help (5)
2. You're waiting to be served in a shop, but the assistant keeps on chatting with a colleague. What do you do?
a. call the manager (5)
b. go to another shop (1)
c. interrupt the conversation (3)
3. What would you do if you saw a child being violently hit by its mother?
a. ignore it (1)
b. ask the woman to stop (5)
c. look for a policeman (3)
4. You're in a non-smoking carriage on a train and somebody lights a cigarette. What do you do?
a. ask them to put it out and point to the sign (3)
b. leave the carriage (1)
c. report them to the guard (5)
5. How would you react if a stranger pushed you into a swimming pool?
a. get out and push him in (3)
b. report him to the attendant (1)
c. swim off (5)
6. What would you do if your boss passed a rule that you thought was nonsense?
a. follow it anyway (1)
b. try to persuade him to change his mind (3)
c. ignore it (5)
7. What do you do if your doctor prescribes tablets for you to take?
a. ask him what they are for and if they have side-effects (3)
b. take them (1)
c. ask for a second opinion (5)
8. You're driving normally when you notice a police car behind you. What do you do?
a. carry on driving the way you are (3)
b. slow down (1)
c. speed up (5)
9. In a relationship what do you prefer to be?
a. equal (3) b. dominant (5) c. the underdog (1)
10. Someone's telling you the same story for the 10th time. What do you do?
a. try to look interested (1)
b. yawn and say, "Not again" (5)
c. point out that you've heard it before (3)
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS
37-50 Nobody can make a decision without you interfering. People give in to you - but only to keep the peace.
24-36 Friends can count on you and you can always get your point across without being offensive.
10-23 You're so afraid of being unpopular that you're frightened to open your mouth. Stand up for yourself and for others - it will earn you a lot more respect.
FRIEND AND FRIENDSHIP
Learning objects
After studying this unit, you should be able to answer the following questions:
- how the issues if power competitions effect friendships,
- whether men and women can be friends,
- if people of different age can be friends,
- if a friend is a person with whom you may be sincere, and so on.
Just now you are probably more interested in questions about your friendships with the other sex than in future parenthood. When should boys and girls begin dating? What about going steady? What are good ways of showing friendship or affection for someone of the opposite sex?
Definite rules and straight “yes” or “no” answers are not as useful to you as knowledge of certain facts and principles that help you to find your own answers, and to understand why some actions are considered right or wrong.
Vocabulary Practice
friend [‘frend] n.
1. a person, not a relation, who one knows and likes well
e.g. She is my best friend.
e.g. He has been a good friend to me.
to make friends (with smb.) = to be (become) a friend of a person
2. a helpful thing or quality
e.g. Among gossips, silence can be your best friend.
3. a helper or sympathizer
e.g. a good friend of the poor.
friendly [‘frendli] adj. (-ier, -iest); opp. - unfriendly
1. friendly (to, towards, with smb.) acting or ready to act as a friend
to be on friendly terms with smb.
2. (attrib.) kind
3. (attrib) helping
friendliness n., opp. hostility
friendship [‘frend∫ip] n. (an instance, period, of)
the feeling of relationship that exists between friends.
e.g. I enjoy my friendship with her.
e.g. We have enjoyed a friendship of 20 years.
Synonyms to friendship:
affection, alliance, association, attachment, closeness, fellowship, fondness, harmony, intimacy, rapport, relationship.
Synonyms to friend:
acquaintance, associate, inf. buddy, inf. chum, companion, comrade, confidant(e), inf. crony, intimate, inf. mate, pal, partner, playmate, supporter, well-wisher.
opp. enemy
TEXT I
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR, ANYWAY?
Read the story and do the activities.
Peter and Nick were born on the same day, in the same town, and spent their first night of life together in the same hospital nursery. They grew up two streets apart and went to the same elementary school. For thirteen years they were inseparable. "Like the Bobbsey Twins," Peter's grandmother said, over and over. "Just like the Bobbsey Twins. Except they're boys."
Then one day about a month ago, Nick moved away. His mother had taken a job in another city on the other side of the country. "You can fly out this summer," Nick's mother promised Peter. "It's a small world these days."
Peter's world, small or not, collapsed. He was lost without Nick. They did everything together. On the little league baseball team, Peter was the catcher, and Nick was the pitcher. Last Halloween Peter went in costume as Laurel and Nick as Hardy. Peter slept over at Nick's house as often as he slept in his own house and vice versa.
In the four weeks that Nick had been gone (four weeks, two days, and nine hours, to be exact), Peter spent most of his time after school at the mall. Everyone hung out there, including Harrison Smith.
Peter and Nick never talked to Harrison. Harrison was much older and had a bad reputation particularly among the parents. They thought he might be dealing in drugs. And they were right.
"Hey, Peter, what's happening?" Harrison was standing just outside Munchies with a bunch of other older boys. Most of them had dropped out of school. Nick had labelled them the Nashville Nothings.
"Not much," Peter answered. He was on his way into Munchies for a hamburger. Nick and he always stopped on Saturdays after practice and had a hamburger at Munchies.
"Then make it happen," Harrison said, walking over to Peter and putting his arm around his shoulder. Peter jerked away. "Hey, what's the matter? I'm just trying to cheer you up."
"I'm not unhappy," Peter answered. "You don't need to cheer me up."
Harrison stood in front of Peter and blocked his way. "Look kid, I know you lost your best friend. That'd eat on anybody. I'm just offering some help — something to ease the pain." He held up a little plastic container filled with red pills and rattled it. "You've heard of pain killers haven't you? That's all they do, my friend, kill the pain."
"Bug off," Peter said, looking Harrison straight in the eye. "I don't do drugs."
"Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind. Dr. Smith is always here to help. Office hours any time." Harrison walked slowly back to his group. "After all," he said over his shoulder, "what are friends for, anyway?"
I. Circle the best answer. Do not look back at the story.
1. Peter and Nick were
a. twins b. best friends c. brothers
2. They were
a. 12 years old b. older than Harrison c. 13 years old
3. Nick moved away because of
a. his mother's job b. his father's job
4. Peter and Nick played
a. football b. often c. baseball
5. For Halloween they were
a. the Bobbsey Twins b. clowns c. Laurel and Hardy
6. Nick had been gone
a. a month b. more than a month c. less than a month
7. Peter spent time at
a. school b. practice c. the mall d. all of these
8. His favourite restaurant was
a. Munchies b. Nashville Nothing c. Smiths
9. Harrison wanted
a. a new friend b. to be Peter's friend c. to sell drugs to Peter d. to cheer Peter up
II. Write your answers to the following questions on a separate sheet.
1. Put yourself in Peter's place. Pretend another week has passed and Harrison approaches you again. Write what you would say to him.
2. What do you think Peter should do about Harrison? Should he report him, or mind his own business?
3. What should you do if someone approaches you and offers to sell you drugs?
4. List at least five things Peter could do to cheer him self up. Think about what you would do if you needed cheering up.
5. What are friends for, anyway? List at least five definitions of a friend.
6. Would a true friend offer you drugs? Explain.
III. You and Your friend
Answer the questions:
1. What ought true friends to be like?
2. What kind of people help others, take care of them?
3. What kind of boys and girls are good friends?
4. What ought you to be and do if you want to be a good son (daughter)?
5. What kind of person do you like best? Why?
IV. Say which of the boys and girls you would like to have for a friend. Explain why?
TEXT II
FRIENDSHIP
People all over the world have to communicate with each other. This communication may be at times difficult. For example, it is much easier to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips. We should remember the old rule: by fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you have expected. If you want to win people to your way of thinking, you should remember the rule: if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. This attitude will help you to gain many friends, our greatest treasure in life.
A poem by W. Shakespeare illustrates this point.
He that is your friend indeed
He will help you in the need.
If you sorrow, he will weep.
If you wake, he cannot sleep.
Thus of every grief in heart
He with you does bear a part.
These are certain signs to know
Faithful friend from flattering foe.
Friends are a necessary and inseparable part of our life. They make us kind and generous, because a true friend is always near you when you are in times of need. A true friend never betrays you: he will help you in trouble. The proverb says. "A friend in need is a friend indeed". A true friend is a precious jewellery box which holds keys to our happiness and kindness. That's why we should cherish our old friends while making new ones.
Some of my classmates say that they don't need friends; but I don't believe them. As a rule, people need friends and expect help and comfort from each other. Very often I see that my classmates have "fair weather friends" and trust them, but then they are let down. Disappointment is the price we often pay for our blindness. There is yet another wise English proverb which says "A hedge between keeps friendship green". It means that true friends are always tactful, they know when to leave you alone. They don't have to spend all their free time with you since they have some interests and hobbies which they don't share with you. But there are some things true friends should agree upon, such as their outlook on life, altitudes towards people, their understanding of duty and honour, an ability to forgive, to empathize and. most of all, to listen and to understand.
Friends differ. The attitude of people to a person depends on many factors: his mind, manners, character, behaviour, abilities and appearance. If a person is good-looking, he or she feels more confident. Unfortunately, to be pretty or handsome doesn't mean to be happy. Very often beautiful people can be stupid, stubborn and arrogant, whereas physically unattractive people can be intelligent, generous and kind. That is why people often say. "Don't judge by appearances".
Everyone dreams of having a true friend, but not all of us arc lucky enough to find one, since real affection - warmth of heart and ability to sacrifice - is something that requires real tolerance and love.
True friendship is always based on tolerance because people are very different and some of them couldn't be friends due to their peculiar characters and behaviour. That's why we have to be tolerant to each other, because without this tolerance and love we won't have a peaceful world in the future.
A. Savintsev
10th grade
Comprehension Exercises
I. Answer the questions:
1. Why do people have to communicate with each other?
2. Is it easy or difficult to communicate?
3. What is much easier to listen to?
4. What rule should you remember if you want to win people to your way of thinking?
5. What point does a poem of W. Shakespeare illustrate?
6. Why are friends are necessary and inseparable part of our life?
7. What proverb about a friend do you know? Do you agree with it?
8. Why do people need friends?
9. What is the price people pay for their blindness?
10. What does a wise English proverb “A hedge between keeps friendship green” mean?
11. What does the attitude of people to a person depend on?
12. Why do people often say: “Don’t judge by appearance”?
13. What is true friendship always based on?
14. Why do we have to be tolerant to each other?
II. Key Language
Look at this sentence from the article.
…I wish I had talked to her more about how I was feeling…
I wish + the past perfect is a good way of talking about regrets. Bad things happened, or you made mistakes, and sadly it is too late to change things now.
Re-phrase these sentences starting with I wish....
a. She never told me when she was upset.
I wish she had told me when she was upset.
b. I didn't ask her about her problems.
c. Her other friends didn't want me in their group.
d. They said horrible things about me.
e. I forgot her birthday.
f. I wasn't strong enough to keep our friendship going.
Do you have any regrets? Of course you do! Talk about one thing in your life you wish you hadn't done, and one thing you wish you had.
III. Talk about it.
What "idiosyncrasies" do you find irritating in other people? Which of these people would really annoy you?
• "He plays nothing but rap music"
• "She loves to complain and criticize - she's always negative."
• "She doesn't really listen when you speak to her."
• "He stops in front of every mirror and looks at himself."
• "He can't accept any sort of criticism. He is always right."
• "She leaves her clothes everywhere around the house."
• "She never wants to eat the same thing as everyone else."
Make your own list of the most irritating things about people in your life - friends, family, or just people you know. Then say what you like about the same people.
Mahatma Gandhi said "The only really lasting and valuable friendship is between people of a similar nature." In the article, Susie Orr is not so sure of this. What do you think?
IV. Learn the poem by heart
The English poet William Blake (1757-1827) wrote:
I was angry with my friend.
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe.
I told it not; my wrath did grow.
Can you explain the meaning of the poem?
(wrath = anger, foe = enemy)
Do you agree with the idea?
TEXT III
I. Read and translate the text using the dictionary if necessary.
What is the worst thing you've ever done to a friend?
A friendship must be based on trust and honesty if it is to last over the years. Even the best of friends can fall out. Sometimes thoughtless or hasty acts cause untold damage and destroy longstanding relationships.
In Catch, a magazine for young women, readers confess the worst things they have ever done to their friends: things they have regretted ever since.
“I started smoking and persuaded my friend to start too, so I wouldn't feel so guilty. Now I've long since given up but she's still hooked, and I don't think you can do much worse to someone than that.”
Kate, 20
“When she was 16, my friend had a huge crush on a lad I knew and asked me to find out what he though of her. When I asked him, it was obvious he really fancied her too, and he told me to tell her that. But at the time I didn't have a boyfriend and didn't want her to have one either, so instead I told her he'd said she was overweight and that he wouldn't be seen dead with her! Unfortunately for me she didn't give up and eventually they got together anyway — and once the truth came out they both dropped me.”
Ruth, 22
“My friend and I worked as secretaries in the same company, and we were both bored to tears with the job and always on the lookout for something better. One day she came in brandishing a newspaper with an advert for this brilliant-sounding job as PA in a London publishing firm — great money, opportunities to travel, good prospects, and she was going to apply for it. While she was out to lunch, I borrowed the paper and sent off an application for the job as well — I didn't want to say anything because it didn't seem fair, somehow. In the end, she didn't even get an interview and I did, and when she found out she wouldn't talk to me afterwards. The sad thing is, I didn't even get the job anyway, so I lost a friend over a stupid thing.”
Helen, 19
II. Do the activities given below:
Vocabulary work:
Work out the meanings of the following phrases by using the context:
to be hooked on something: (informal) (Kate's letter) _____________________________________________________________________________
to have a crush on someone: (informal) (Ruth's letter) _____________________________________________________________________________
(he) wouldn't be seen dead with (her): (informal) (Ruth's letter) _____________________________________________________________________________
to be bored to tears: (informal) (Helen's letter) _____________________________________________________________________________
to brandish something: (Helen's letter) _____________________________________________________________________________
Now discuss the following in small groups.
1. Has anything similar ever happened to you or one of your friends?
2. In the last two stories, friendships ended. Have you ever lost a friend for similar reasons?
III. Match the columns:
1. bosom friend
1. друг до первой беды
2. fair-weather friend
2. фальшивые друзья опаснее врагов
3. kiss and be friends
3. закадычный друг
4. strike up a friend
4. никто не отнимает столько времени как друзья
5. friends are thieves of time
5. подружиться
6. false friends are worth then open enemies
6. помириться
7. a friend in court is better than a penny in purse
7. гора с горой не сходятся, а человек с человеком сойдется
8. friends may meet but mountains never
8. не имей сто рублей, а имей сто друзей
9. a friend to all is a friend to none
9. подруга, возлюбленная
10. a girl-friend
10. тот, кто дружит со всеми, не дружит ни с кем
Assignments
TEXT I
Living with a stranger
Thrown together, roommates can become the best of friends - or enemies
The roommate situation is the first challenge students face. Learning to tolerate a stranger's idiosyncrasies may teach flexibility and the art of compromise. But the learning process is often painful. At Ithaca College in Upstate New York, Julie Noel and her roommate were uncommunicative and uncomfortable throughout the year. I kept my stereo up once for a whole day just to test her because she was so timid," says Noel. "It took her until dinnertime to finally turn it off." Near year's end. the two ended up in a screaming fight. "Looking back, I wish I had talked to her more about how I was feeling," says Noel.
Most roommate conflicts spring from such small, irritating differences. Suzie Orr, director of housing at Indiana's St. Mary's College, says that the matching process is complicated: 'Do you put together people who are similar - or different, so they can team about each other?"
Alan Sussman at the University of Maryland says: “I think they must have known each of our personalities and picked the opposite.” While Sussman was neat and a compulsive studier, his roommate was messy and liked to party into the early hours. Sussman considered moving out at the end of the semester, but decided to stay and "fight it out". Against all odds, the two ended up being friends. Says Sussman: "We taught each other a lot."
There are many stones of college roommates becoming lifelong friends. Singers Jean Norris and Renee Neufville of the soul duo Zhane started writing songs while rooming together at Temple University in Philadelphia. After breaking up with their boyfriends within 24 hours of each other, they managed to compose their way out of the blues.
idiosyncrasies - somebody's individual qualities/habits (e. g. sleeping with the window open)
flexibility - being happy to change; easy with other people
compromise - half way between two points of view
conflict - disagreement, fight
spring from - come from/originate from
matching - putting two suitable compatible people together
compulsive - doing something all the time; unable to stop
semester - (AmE) term (part of the college year)
against all odds - although it was very improbable
compose their way out of the blues - avoid sadness by writing songs
1. How do you get on with new people? What if you have to live or work together? Do you become friends - or drive each other mad?
2. Match the people with the facts.
a. Suzie Orr
didn't like her shy roommate
b. Jean Norris
tries to put the right students together
c. Julie Noel
is very tidy, unlike his roommate
d. Alan Sussman
ended up working with her roommate
3. This article contains three mini-stories. Decide which of them have happy endings, and which has a sad ending.
a. Julie Noel and her Roommate
b. Alan Sussman and his Roommate
c. Jean Norris and Renee Neufville
Now retell one of those mini-stories to the rest of the class - without looking back at the article!
TEXT II
1. Render from Russian into English and give your opinion on the subject.
У меня была подруга...
Женская дружба порой не менее эмоциональна, чем любовный роман. Именно поэтому она часто заканчивается бурным разрывом, оставляя в душе боль и взаимную неприязнь.
Пожалуй, о трагическом конце женской дружбы можно написать настоящий роман-эпопею в трех частях. С любовным треугольником, психологическими коллизиями, научной фантастикой, детективной интригой и - непременно! - с ненавязчивым черным юмором. Американский публицист Генри Менкен пришел к весьма любопытному выводу: "По крайней мере, в одном вопросе мужчины и женщины достигли согласия: и те, и другие не доверяют женщинам".
Надо отметить, что ссора и конец дружбы - это совсем не обязательно одно и то же. Дружба не заканчивается в одночасье. В один отнюдь не прекрасный день, после нескольких недель натянутого общения, напрочь лишенного всякого взаимопонимания, ты положишь трубку телефона и спросишь сама себя: "Почему я все еще разговариваю с ней? Почему все стало так сложно?"
Раньше - в школе, в институте - все было не в пример проще. Сколько у тебя было друзей? Десять? Двадцать? Сейчас, когда жизнь расписана по минутам на месяц вперед, на такое количество у тебя просто нет времени. К тому же старые подруги одна за другой исчезают из твоей жизни - меняются ценности, которые раньше цементировали ваши отношения, появляются зависть, чувство конкуренции, обида. Работы много, времени мало, находить новых друзей все сложнее, и это делает их более ценными. Терять их невозможно больно. Тот, кто придумал слова "не иметь, чтобы не терять", должно быть, потерял слишком многих. Но должен же быть какой-то выход? Дружба - это прежде всего равноправие. Там, где оно нарушено, рано или поздно неизбежно начинаются проблемы. Один человек больше нуждается в другом, и это вызывает серьезную эмоциональную зависимость. Кто-то красивее, удачливее, богаче - это вызывает у другого сложную гамму положительных и отрицательных реакций и т.д. И чтобы разобраться во всем, нужен большой запас внимания и терпения.
2. Project works
a. make up a composition about your best friend.
b. write down an essay on friendship you dream of.
TEXT III
Good Fellow, Bad Worker
You work or study together. You live in the same hostel. You may even be friends. He is a really good fellow...
But when you both become engaged in the same job or educational project, you find out that he is also a really bad worker.
You alone do all the work for both of you, then he gets his payment, or a good mark, or an accolade, whatever. But still you earned it alone and he doesn't even thank you, considering it to be OK.
What should you do?
Things seem to be quite clear. A silly man remembers offences, a wise one - the offenders. Just refuse to work with him the next time. It is quite simple if you study together: there are always other people with whom you may do a project.
But what if you work in a group, especially in a small one? You'll face a difficult choice then. On the one hand it hasn't ever been too burdensome to work for two. Besides, he is a good fellow. So you can keep on doing his job, for no money, and even no appreciation, but feeling yourself a very kind and big-hearted person.
On the other hand it isn't fair at all and you are definitely a straight human being. And you would prefer to do your own work perfectly, instead of working for the two of you but on a lower level. So you go to the executive office and write a report. 1 consider this to be the right option; but what will you feel putting a good fellow out of work?
A couple of weeks ago a man tried to stegl my bag at the university. And the university's security guards didn't stop him even when he ran past them to the door. I, running after him, shouted "Stop him! He is a thief!" Should I have filed a lawsuit? Should I have clamoured against the guards? I didn't, because they are good fellows, and they live in the same hostel with my fellow-students.
Text comprehension questions:
1. How do college friendships differ from school in other circumstances and at other times?
2. What is the author’s opinion about high school friendships?
3. What’s your idea of friendships?
Stories about girls and friendships
1. Render the stories from Russian into English. Say if you have examples from your own experience and observations.
I. Дружба Кати и Милы началась еще в детском саду, а разваливаться стала пару лет назад, когда образ жизни Катерины кардинально изменился. Она получила хорошую работу в российском представительстве крупной западной компании, купила квартиру и потеряла интерес к богемным тусовкам и барам, где Мила проводила большую часть времени, а та увидела в подруге препятствие своему дальнейшему росту. А поскольку обе женщины испытывали большую нелюбовь ко всяческим разборкам и скандалам, финал "мы просто перестали разговаривать" показался им самым подходящим...
II. Маша и Лена познакомились на вступительных экзаменах в университете. В общежитии поселились вместе, и последующие пять лет всегда были неразлучны. "Тогда Ленку интересовали только гитара, рок-музыка и соответствующая одежда - майки и джинсы. И немного иностранные языки, - вспоминает Маша, настоящая красавица. - Она была помешана на идее всеобщей справедливости и братства и не считала, сколько мужиков посмотрело на нее, а сколько на меня, что, согласись, явление редкое. И вдруг на четвертом курсе любимую подругу будто прорвало: она постоянно злилась на меня, через каждые два предложения вставляла "Ну и везет же тебе!" и, словно в детском саду, копировала каждый мой шаг.
III. Вика познакомилась с Ириной два года назад. Как раз до этого она бросила пить. "Я была очень уязвима, не уверена в себе, боялась, что без алкоголя мне будет еще тяжелее, чем с ним. Ира появилась в трудный момент и сразу взяла меня под свое крыло. Она выслушивала, поддерживала, успокаивала и - главное! - помогала мне осознать, что жизнь без алкоголя не только возможна, но и приносит большое удовольствие".
Они проводили уйму времени вместе на протяжении полугода. Вика безгранично доверяла Ире и эмоционально очень от нее зависела. Но однажды что-то изменилось. "Моя жизнь потихоньку стала налаживаться, я вновь обрела оптимизм и уверенность. И в отношении Ирины ко мне появилось нечто покровительственно-враждебное, мешающее моему росту. Мы разговаривали все меньше и меньше, чувствовалась натянутость.
IV. Я начала работать референтом - она тут же заявила, что это ее призвание, я познакомилась с симпатичным немцем - она потребовала представить ее его друзьям, я поехала отдыхать в Стамбул - она вслед на последние деньги отправилась в Анкару.
"Она звонила мне поздно ночью и подробно рассказывала об очередном типе, с которым познакомилась.
- Но мне это было совсем неинтересно, я не хотела это выслушивать и часто просто включала автоответчик". Это достижение цивилизации позволяет без каких-либо усилий сохранять дружеский фасад, за которым уже давным-давно ничего нет.
2. Use the following proverbs in situation of your own. (Give suitable Russian equivalents if possible).
a. Among friends all things are common.
b. A man is known by the company he keeps.
c. Friendship cannot stand always on one side.
d. A broken friendship can be soldered, but will never be sound.
Examine the specific opinions described in these essays. Do you agree with them?
Черная кошка.
«Если дело касается мужика, даже самые лучшие подруги становятся заклятыми врагами», - любит повторять один мой приятель, и мне, увы, нечего ему возразить. Кровная заинтересованность в одном и том же персонаже практически всегда приводит к вольной борьбе за кусочек своего женского счастья. А древняя, кажется грузинская, народная мудрость гласит: «Если женщины дерутся, в драку лучше не вступать». Третий, в конце концов, уходит в сторону, но им нередко оказывается именно мужчина. Предмет раздора, изрядно помятый и потрепанный в пылу схватки, хромая, спешно покидает поле брани (в самом широком смысле слова), чтобы уцелеть.
Не самая белая зависть
В известной детской песенке поется: "Друг в беде не бросит, лишнего не спросит (фольклорный вариант - "денег не попросит"), вот что значит настоящий, верный друг". Но это еще не вся правда. Иной раз и бросит, и спросит, попросит. Куда большая добродетель - разделить с другом успех, искренне за него порадоваться и ухитриться не позавидовать. Зависть радикального черного цвета - сокрушительная сила, способная искалечить самую закадычную дружбу.
Ну конечно – она была просто подругой. Один из мифов о женской дружбе заключается в том, что наши отношения просты и великодушны, некое замечательное бомбоубежище, где мы отдыхаем от мужчин.
В силу обстоятельств.
Дружба обречена, если вы сошлись на почве неких обстоятельств, а не благодаря глубоким чувствам родства, доверия, понимания. Обстоятельства имеют свойство меняться – значит, в любой момент могут измениться и ваши отношения.
Подруга. По этому предмету нет самоучителей и путеводителей. Но порой становится так больно и удручающе пусто, что понимаешь: «просто подруга» - это на самом деле очень много. И мужчины здесь ни при чем.
Известный американский психолог и юрист Маргарет Кент в своей нашумевшей методике «Как выйти замуж» не раз возвращается к теме подруги. Не стоит приходить на вечеринку с подругой, если в твои планы входит знакомство с мужчиной. Если ты не можешь честно сказать, почему именно не стоит этого делать, и начинаешь разговоры в пользу бедных – дескать, она будет чувствовать себя брошенной, миссис Кент раскроет тебе глаза.
Что делать
По законам жанра я наверняка должна была бы завершить эту печальную песнь жизнеутверждающими фанфарами и рецептом волшебного эликсира, продляющего дружбу на века. Но, увы. Фанфары заглохли, эликсир ушел в землю, однажды разбитое уже не склеить. Хотя есть один маленький секрет. При любых обстоятельствах, при любых обидах обязательно надо поговорить, попробовать разобраться, что чувствует твоя подруга, объяснить, что происходит с тобой. Всегда есть надежда, что еще не все потеряно. К тому же не очень умно расставаться врагами. Как говорит моя любимая подруга, люди должны разговаривать друг с другом. Это единственный конструктивный способ разрешения проблем.
If you want to have a friend
TEXT I
Ex. 1. FRIENDSHIP IS A VERY GREAT THING
Do you remember the English proverbs about friendship which you have discussed already? Here they are: "A friend in need is a friend indeed," "A good friend is as the sun in winter," "A friend is easier lost than found," "A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody."
Friendship is a very great thing and that's why people of all countries have so many proverbs about it. As you do not know all English proverbs about friends and friendship, here are some more. Take, for example, this one: "A friend is never known till a man has need."
What does it mean? It means that the best friend is the one who helps you when you are really in need of help. You know your real — friends when you are in a difficult situation.
The second proverb is "A friend is not so soon gotten as lost." The meaning of this proverb is that it takes a long time to become really friendly with somebody. But there are many ways of quickly losing a friend if you do something wrong. So you must try to keep a friendship.
Another English proverb is "Before you make a friend, eat a bushel of salt with him."1 Of course, you need not eat much salt to become good friends but you must know your friend very well. If you help each other and do useful and important things together, your friendship will last a very long time.
The words "friendship" and "comradeship" are very close to each other in meaning. Friends and comrades may have the same interests, they understand, help, respect and trust each other.
Ex. 2. DISCUSSING THE READING
1. What English proverbs about friendship do you remember?
2. In what way can you learn to know your real friends?
3. How long have you known your best friend? What sort of a girl (boy) is she (he)?
4. Have you ever helped someone with his school work? Have those pupils become your comrades (friends)?
5. What will you do if a boy (girl) comes up to you and says, "I should like you to be friends with me"?
Ex. 3. Make up a story about your friendship.
Ex. 4. Give some examples of real friendship from Russian literature.
Ex. 5. Questions for answering:
a. What traits of character would you name as typical for a normal friendship?
b. Why do many people attach such importance to friendship?
READING FOR DISCUSSION
TEXT II
Read the following text which will help you to discuss what real friendship is.
Ex. 6. IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND...
Let us suppose that everybody here in this group has a good friend. Friendship between two people grows when they do something useful together and when they have the same interests. Their friendship is still better if they understand each other well.
Do you remember the English proverb "A friend in need is a friend indeed"? We agreed that you cannot live without friends, that real friends are always ready to help each other. Let us also agree that the real friendship is possible only when people respect and trust each other.
So you can see that friendship between two people is a very great thing. As English people say, "A good friend is as the sun in winter." A good proverb, isn't it? A real friend makes your life happier and more interesting. He is dear to you and you want your friendship to last for a very long time.
Well, there are some other English proverbs about friendship and friends. Take, for example, this one: "A friend is easier lost than found." What does it mean? It means that it is difficult to find a good friend. You may lose a friend quickly if you do something wrong. Always think how to keep friendship.
And there is another thing which is no less important: if you want to have a friend, you have to be good friends yourselves.
Questions:
1. When does friendship grow between two people? 2. When is real friendship possible? What is real friendship in your opinion? 3. What does the proverb "A friend is easier lost than found" mean? 4. Have you a real friend? What do you do together? 5. What books about friendship have you read? 6. Did you like them? Why?
TELL. ASK. DISCUSS
(Text II If You Want to Have a Friend)
Try to use the following:
That's true. - Это верно.
Isn't it? - He правда ли?
I believe so. - Думаю, что так.
1. An English proverb says: "A friend to everybody is a friend to nobody."
What can you do for your friend?
(Help him with his mathematics or in other subjects; bring him his homework (a library book) when he cannot come to school; help him with his work on something; help him with his problems; do difficult work in his garden (about the house); anything he asks me to do, if I can do it.)
2. One of your classmates said, "That's not very friendly of you." Discuss what you may think about the boy (girl) to whom this was said.
(Was not always friendly towards other classmates; sometimes wasn't ready to help other pupils; thought about himself (herself) a little more than about other people; said something wrong about a pupil because he (she) didn't know the real situation.)
3. You came to your friend's place and asked him, "Can you come out with me for a walk?"
"I must finish this work first," answered your friend.
Discuss which is more important for your friend — to do what he must do or what he likes to do with his friends.
(Does first what he has to do; does not forget his duties; understands what has to be done.)
4. Say if you have a friend whom you never want to lose. Explain why he (she) is so dear to you.
(Like to work and play together; like to talk and go out together; is helpful; understand each other; has respect for me (respects my opinion); trust each other.)
Ex. 7. (Text If You Want to Have a Friend)
Try to use the following:
Yes, certainly. - Да, конечно.
I don't think you're right. - Я не думаю, что ты прав.
Perhaps. - Может быть.
1. During a discussion about friendship a girl said, "Her friendship means a lot to me."
Ask each other what the girl wanted to say about her friend.
(She was an old friend of hers; their friendship lasted very long; she was older and knew many important things; she could advise her younger friend on what to do; she helped her to decide correctly in difficult situations.)
2. Your friend said in a conversation with you, "I'm prepared to help you if you want me to."
Speak about the way your friend could help you.
(Help me do my homework; with my work in the garden; get an interesting book; carry paper and metal to school; draw a placard.)
Ex. 8. Can you give definitions of these expressions:
1. a person one knows and likes, who is not a member of one’s family (a noun - …?)
2. without any friends (adj. - …?)
3. behaving in a kind and pleasant way; acting like a friend (adj. - …?)
4. the feeling or relationship that friends have; the state of being friend (a noun - …?)
Ex. 9. Write down a composition about friendship.
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