Loneliness is a great problem
it so important to have friends?
to my friends.
Loneliness is necessary for
secludes himself if he wants to think over something, for studies of art,
science, to have a rest from the people. But personal contact is more
important for people. We suffer from enduring loneliness, but we cannot get
rid of it. There are different reasons of such painful loneliness. A person
can be lonely because of his low self-confidence. He or she is not satisfied
with his appearance and mind. So he is sure that nobody is interested in him
because of these demerits. Very often a person does not know how to get along
with people: he cannot make an acquaintance with somebody or simply talk with
people. Sometimes distrust and bitterness make people lonely. A person can
always choose «unsuitable» friends. If a shy, modest person fails in personal
contact he starts to afraid to be outcast again: he prefers to be lonely.
There are people who are afraid of deep feelings. They are afraid to open
their inner world for somebody else and to see one's inner world.
A lot of
people can't develop and support good terms with others. Eventually there are
people who want «everything or nothing», they can't be tolerant or patient so
they quickly break all connections with others.
these lonely people think they'll never find a person, closed to them. So,
they consider, there is no need to try it.
actually it isn't so. Everybody can get over his loneliness if he really wants
First of all he must develop such important feeling as confidence.
confident man expresses his own opinion honestly and frankly. He never hides
behind the words «everybody thinks so», but uses the words «I consider», «to
my mind». He speaks only about feelings he has, he never disguises them.
Next you should
know there are «inside» distances.
longest is contact with unknown people: in transport or at school.
distance becomes smaller in personal contact with familiar person. Such person
is our possible friend or enemy. To change such terms «somebody should make a
first step, and somebody should receive it» (Eric Bern).
distance between the business partners is just the same. But if they begin to
talk about something that is not touched by their occupation their
conversation turns into the personal talk.
smallest distance is between friends.
«One soul in two bodies»,
- said Aristotel. But why is
friendship so necessary in the modern world?
A lot of
people search someone who will listen to all their lamentations. But they must
know that real friendship can't be one-sided. They should be ready to listen
to complaints from their friend.
people search a friend to «look» at him like at the mirror. They believe it'll
help to understand themselves better.
often friendship appears when two people have common interests. This kind of
friendship is usually strong and long-lasting.
20-th century psychologists determined the existence of the unwritten
Real friends must:
Give emotional support.
Be always helpful.
Trust one another.
Not be persistent.
Not criticize one another.
Keep all confidential secrets.
Not be jealous.
Respect the inner world and
Never tell lie.
I advise to my friends:
Treat with your friend like you want him
to treat with you.
Try to find good traits of character in
Never intervene in one's affairs.
If you've been disappointed in friendship,
don't consider that it is the end of your life. I'm sure, new friendship will
come to you very soon.